You're not wearing that!
by Shodaime Smexkage
Summary: Dear God Naruto, what the hell is that! NaruSaku One Shot


A One-shot.

Author Ninp-For God's sake I don't own it! Geez

Enjoy!

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What a nice day it is, the sun is shining, the birds are...well doing whatever the hell birds do in the summer, bees doing...bee things. And some random villager's dog was taking a piss on the corner lot. In the Uzumaki residence, a little boy had a question for his father, a question that's been bugging him for so long. One that had been asked by another boy in same class he was in. The question in question had caused Iruka to spit out his coffee. He never did answer the question though, and having some genes from a demonic fox, his curiosity levels where higher then regular kids. He wanted, no, _had_ to know, 

Where _do_ babies come from?

"Dad, where do babies come from?" the 10 yr. old boy boy named Arashi asked. 'I knew this day would come' the blond man thought 'How do I explain it?'. He thought for a while. A few seconds later he got it.

"Alright, this is how it happened"

**-Some time ago-**

A pink-haired lady was sitting on the bed, waiting for her husband to arrive. 'Where the hell is that bastard?' she mentally ranted 'I'm hornier then two dogs in heat, if he doesn't come soon, I'll find his ass, then rape it right then and there!'.

Horniness makes you want to do strange things, doesn't it?

Her mental rantings died down when he finally arrived. "Where the hell where you?" She screamed at him "I want sex dammit!". Naruto looked up at the sky and thanked the gods that he had a horny wife to please. And that he had the tool((s), if you count the tongue) to do so. "Sorry I'm late Sakura-chan, I was buying more stuff from the sex shop". "Ooooo let me see, let me see". Inside said bag was a whip, handcuffs, leather costumes, Kamusutra for lovers Vol. 2, and other naughty items.Those two where about to have some fun.

Sakura was quick to grab the whip, and didn't hesitate to crack it on the back of the blond. "Strip!" She said in a commanding, but yet, highly erotic voice. Naruto didnt know what was erotic about it, the way she said it or the fact that she was wearing really skimpy leather clothing.

Naruto was quick to follow her orders, lest he get another crack of that whip, or worse, no sex. The pink-haired lady admired her work, she loved the fact that she had him whipped, and whipped well he was. She was all (perverted) smiles,

Till she saw what the he was wearing.

"Naruto, what in the seven hells is that?" she asked. What was that thing? It was hideous.

"What, what's wrong with it?" Naruto asked.

"It's uglier than Ino in the morning after an all-nighter." She replied. She had the wonderful pleasure of seeing Ino in the morning after a wild party involving male strippers, and booze. "Ino looked horrible with a hangover" would be putting it nicely.

"It's not that ugly" he defended, "I like it." He also had the pleasure to see her too, since Ino crashed at their place. He had considered making a law that would ban Ino from drinking any sake. That plan went nowhere.

"That's because you have a bad taste in fashion."

"No I don't."

"Then what about that orange jumpsuit you always wore when you were younger?"

"What's wrong with my old jumpsuit? The kids like it"

"You corrupted their minds, that's why" She continued "What was wrong with that suit, was the fact it was _orange, _ninjas do_ not _wear _orange_."

"So?"

She sighed and gave up, this argument was getting her nowhere closer to sex. "Just take it off". "Fine" he complied and removed the article of clothing from his person. He was now as naked as the day he was born.

Goin' commando.

Sakura quickly grabbed the blonde, and tossed him on the bed. In the span of a couple seconds, she was straddling the naked man. "Before we continue, promise me something"

"Alright"

"Never ever ever wear that..._thing_ ever again, unless you don't want this" -she pointed to herself- "to stay exclusive."

"I promise"

"Naruto is a good boy ne?"

In the background, music played: _Let's get it on._

_Oh Yeah._

_And on the floor, Naruto's elephant underwear lay discarded.__  
_

**-Present Time-**

"And that's how you were born kiddo" Naruto said.

Poor Arashi, he was scarred for life.

_

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_Sadly, this didn't come out the way I imagined. But its good enough. I hope >.>

So R&R bitches, or I send my smex nins after you! (Wait, would that be bad thing?)

-Shodaime Smexkage


End file.
